I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
