ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
