Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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