she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
