Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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