you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize