I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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