just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
All I want is dick and wine.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
