i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize