shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
