My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
