is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
