Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
