Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
