I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
