she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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