You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize