i already hear my dad disowning me
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
