I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
