Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Life is so much better after having sex.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
