new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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