I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
