don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
