her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
