I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
