do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Randomize
