3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
