why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
