I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
