y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
