I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
