have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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