Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
