Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
