Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
