you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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