I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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