New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
