I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
