so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
