I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
