she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
