We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
