You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize