K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
