sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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