There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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