my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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