Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
