theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
