Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I party with great urgency now.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
