I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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