Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
