No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's never too late to be topless.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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