forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
