he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
