when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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