porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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