She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize