You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
