she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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